The availability of self-help books, and seminars that claim to be able to help you find your real self, your identity and your true mission in life, is almost overwhelming. They can’t all be right, right? And although they offer different methods of solving that mystery, they still fall short. Maybe because what works for one person is of no help to another. Good news for the people selling those books, not so much for the true seeker who would really like some answers.
What if the true way to get those answers is through asking an entirely NEW question— one that you haven’t considered until now? So far, the reoccurring theme in most self-help programs on the market is that to start any project that will tell you where to go, you must first know where you are. That sounds like two projects to me (or advice from the Auto Club). Certainly, there will be steps that prioritize how to make your dream happen but if we start with those steps, we miss the true flavor and excitement that only a dream elicits.
Acknowledging the importance of those elements of flavor and excitement of your dream life, your authentic success, is exactly why the answer to the new question, can produce tangible results and jump start the new you. A bonus is that your answer to the new question eliminates a lot of other questions that focus on your current circumstances—questions that would only waste your time and distract you from what could be the most significant step you can take.
Think of it this way: You’re not all that crazy about what your life looks like today. Any hope of it being significantly different just doesn’t seem to be available. You’re just going through the motions. Nothing excites you. You might even be doubting that you’re capable of living any other kind of life.
The hope of changing that, will start to develop when you answer the following question:
The trick here is to open your mind and not discount whatever it is that comes into your head. When you first begin to consider the question, don’t try to think of an activity or specific task. Instead, let the feeling of being unstoppable fill your mind and flow over you.
Try to vividly recall a time you felt confident and happy. You were you then. In fact, you were probably the best possible version of you at the time. And if you think about the details of your life at that time, you will recall that despite the great feeling you experienced, your life was not exactly perfect. No one’s life is ever entirely perfect, despite fond memories of “the good ole days.”
There were surely circumstances that you wished were different, but those areas for improvement fade into the background when we’re on top of your game. The wish to be taller, shorter, slimmer, to have curly hair (or straight hair) to have thinner thighs, or whatever we perceive as our flaws were all still there on the day we felt unstoppable. But that day, in that moment, your faults, failings, disappointments and pain were all suspended. You felt strong, safe, in control, capable and whole, and yes, unstoppable.
So carve out time to sit quietly, alone, without distraction, and remember the feeling, and the activities that led to the feeling. The activities could be something as simple as a doodle that you started when you were bored that grew into a frame-worthy masterpiece. It might have been the admiration on someone’s face as you shared a recipe you created. It could’ve been the day you aced a final you never thought you’d pass, or when you made your biggest sale, or survived your worst fear.
Feel the feeling and allow yourself to sit with that feeling. Recall your facial expressions, body language, and attitude. Remember what you were doing at that time. Write, record, or video the thoughts that come to mind. Once you have a clear sense of that unstoppable feeling and a clear picture in mind of what you did that led to the feeling, your possibilities are endless, because you have the power to recreate those activities which result in your power. You can be unstoppable again.
Don’t feel left out if you have never felt unstoppable. You can feel that way for the first time, and afterwards, recreate that feeling. To create the feeling of being unstoppable, think of someone you know or know of who seems to have experienced that feeling. Perhaps it’s a professional athlete who just won his or her most important game. Perhaps it’s someone who received an accolade or nailed a performance. YouTube is full of videos of people who just “nailed it.” Watch those videos and notice the body language, the facial expressions, the posture, and the attitude of those people. Imagine what it felt like to experience their unstoppable moments. Allow yourself to imagine the feelings of exhilaration of winning a marathon you didn’t think you could complete; of being recognized as a leader in a well-respected field; of receiving a diploma, giving birth, receiving a standing ovation, or whatever else looks invigorating and empowering.
Find your individual formula for creating the unstoppable you, and you will find and fulfill YOUR REAL SUCCESS.
Rhonda Sciortino, author of Successful Survivors and the 8 character traits of survivors and how you can attain them, used the coping skills from an abusive childhood to achieve real success which she measures by good relationships, good health, peace, joy, and financial prosperity. Through her writing, speaking, and media appearances, she shares how others can use the obstacles in their lives as stepping stones to their real success.